Another weekend come and gone

and only memories left in its place. This five day memorial weekend was anything but dull as I believe I slept an average six or five hours every night. So much for catching up on my sleep. This weekend, however exciting it was, did yield some much needed down time. & we all know what happens when we our left to divulge in our own sea of thoughts-questions arise, conclusions are sometimes reached, and we find that we can add a little piece of that puzzle in which we call ourselves.

I did a vast amount of thinking of this weekend, most of it atop my roof overlooking the Pacific ocean. I tell you there is no place like a rooftop to help you sort through your thoughts. Something about being above the things that usually cause problems-family, streets, cars, etc-is electrifying and helpful. When reflecting on the person that I was in Bangkok, I say-and still do say- that I did not like who I was then. I was mean, manipulative, dramatic, deceitful on top of being loyal, sensitive, fun, outgoing, etc. In short, I felt that the many bad qualities I possessed far outweighed the good I had in me and people over their got to know those qualities instead. I won't make excuses for this happening, really it is all my fault. For some reason, I changed who I was, what I believed in, what I valued-all to reach a state in which I was "known". Why I was so obsessed with that I'll never know; blame it on all the iconic tv shows that plague our lives or just simply being naive and clay like in the face of change.

Everyone goes through change right? Whether we like it or not we are not the same person we were when we enter high school and when we leave it. Most of us change for the better, while some do unfortunately lag behind the pack. I know for fact that I and many of my fellow classmates and friends have changed for the better. Yet, sadly there are those who are still adamant on keeping their immature, child like qualities in which they choose to display in the form of hate comments on formspring. I will never understand why such individuals get such a high in putting others down. What do you gain through calling others fat, ugly, dumb, a whore, etc.? Does starting drama on that sight really make you genuinely happy? If seeing the hurt you cause makes you feel warm inside and you enjoy see it-then how can you call yourself a human being? Did you know it is estimated that around 500,000 kids are bullied each year and about 5000 commit suicide because of it. 5000 kids between the ages of 9-17 kill themselves because people like to make themselves feel better by putting themselves down. Already this scary statistic has proven correct at my new school. I'm not saying those being bullied on formspring do not have the strong will to hold their chin up in the presence of such comments-but after awhile, it does take a toll on you. Every strong person has their breaking point, no matter what. It's really sad that kinder people can prevent 5000 deaths. It's really sad that half the people who will read this will not even think twice, go to my formspring- or someone elses and write something hurtful. It's just really sad that this is what adolescence has succumbed too. When will change occur and who will be the face of it?

I'm sorry to put such a dreary mood on this post but one of my friends was actually, really hurt by one of her hateful comments. She is usually one of the strongest girls I know and to see her so upset, it opened my eyes on how serious this problem is.

On a different note, summer is coming up. Which means I'll be starting college classes, college apps, and most importantly becoming a senior. In close to 365 days, I get to leave the walls of high school and embark on a totally different, refreshing journey called life. We enter this world with no clue and in retrospect we leave high school with no clue at all. You get to reinvent yourself after high school. You essentially become the driver from that point on and it doesn't get more serious than that. To the graduates of 2010-I wish you the best of luck in your journeys to find yourselves, your careers, your dreams and success. My class will soon be following suit.

"Baby get ready, get set-but please don't go"
-V