Strength Is A Funny Thing To Come By...

You find it the most unlikely of places, people and events. To wake up and go to school in the wake of a bad breakup, to hold your head high in the hallways despite a nasty rumor being spread, to get to know someone in spite of the things you’ve heard about them, to step onto a soccer pitch, football field, volleyball court etc when you know your team is just going to be crushed and finally to open your heart to someone after its been severely damaged. All these situations, though minor in comparison to some godlike heroic act, in my eyes resemble the strength a person could possess and in reality we all have that strength within us. Most of us, just haven’t realized it yet.

In retrospect isn’t that what high school is meant for? To help us see what we cannot? To help us discover our likes, dislikes, strong suits and weak points. To help us find our bridesmaids, our groomsmen and if we’re really lucky that person we’re meant to share forever with. Although I’m not one for believing in finding that special person in high school, some of us luck out and do. But what happens when the person we think we’ll be sharing forever with ends up breaking our hearts? What then becomes of us? The normal reaction of course is close off your heart for fear of it getting re-broken, for those wounds caused by the first person to be reopened by a new person. The rule, I’m told, states that for every month you were that person, a week should pass before you are truly ready to give your heart again. Well, that rule doesn’t apply to me-it took me two years. & even then it shouldn’t have taken that long, but it did. All because I was afraid. I gave everything to one person and was crushed to have it thrown back into my face. I had several opportunities after to form what was sure to be promising relationships with a few guys after but they always ended in disaster-all on my doing. How long does every person after the person who broke your heart have to suffer for what they did? How long will you question a new interest’s intentions, feelings, sincerity and honesty before it drives them away? How long will you question your own feelings and be hesitant to move on? If you have someone who truly wants to be with you, who can fix your broken heart, who can make it seem like whatever happened doesn’t matter-then I say jump. Jump and take a chance and hope that they catch you and if they don’t, well then you pick yourself up and jump again. Living in the past, consumed by your grief will only hurt you. By being afraid to truly let yourself be out there, you will miss out on something truly worth wild. I know it’s scary, hell it took me two years but every opportunity I missed out, I look back and wish I hadn’t passed them up. I look back and wonder what if-and that is one of the worst feelings in the world. I don’t wish it upon anyone and I hope anyone who is going through it will read this and take something back with them.

If there is one person from whom I draw my strength from, it is from my friend Taylor Ponder. Many choose to pass up the amazing opportunity to get to know her because of her reputation. For every bad thing you’ve ever heard about her, I’ll bet I can tell you five things that I truthfully know that will make those rumors seem more and more unlikely. She’s just your average teenage girl, whose been in love, had her heart broken but somehow managed to get through it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again till I’m blue in the face: I hate games and I fail miserably at them. But she, somehow has figured it all out and lucky for me she looks out for me and helps when I fall, which believe me happens often-especially with the guys that I fall for. The things she’s gone through, the things she’s going through all, instead of deterring her, make her stronger and I’ve never been more proud of her. I’d be a train on a crash course for hell without her guidance, wisdom and friendship. The next time you decide you don’t want to talk to her or make a comment about her because of something you’ve heard-I’ll laugh at you. I’ll laugh because of how immature you are, I’ll laugh because you’re missing out on the opportunity to gain a loyal, honest friend, and I’ll laugh because you don’t deserve to know her if you are so willing to believe what you’ve heard. The same goes for every other person out there. Studies show that of all rumors spread only about eight percent of them are true. While yes, all rumors spawn from some spark of truth-find out the truth and then and only then make your assumptions about person its about.
Finally, someone asked me recently what the letters TVZG or TZVG meant or stood for. No, it is not a band, a cult or anything radical like that. It simply stands for myself and my three best friends. T for Taylor, V for Vanity, Z for Zoe, and G for Geena. You might call it juvenile that we choose to unite ourselves in this way but I promise you we’ll laugh at this because honestly we don’t care. We certainly aren’t exclusive; we don’t put down other people for what they wear, how they act, who they are or anything like that. We’re just four girls who have seen each other at our best and worst of times. Four girls who despite their unlikely background bonded to form what feels like will be a permanent friendship. Four girls who have the most random times together, who make up code names for boys so we can talk about them when they’re right next to us, who steal each other’s clothing with the intention of never returning them, who can simultaneously hold a conversation with their eyes, and who will always be there for each other.

"Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open"

-V